PURE TV #005 RESULTS (12/9/13)

[Director Callahan]

PURE.TV #5
Monday, December 9th, 2013
LIVE from the Key Arena, Seattle, Washington on AMC

Match #1:
Jordan Caliban VS Allen “Portal” Bartsch

Match #2:
Ash Scion VS Jackpot VS Jair Hopkins VS Drexel Chancellor

Match #3:
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt VS Maverick Jones

Match #4:
”Mad Man” Chris Madison VS Mark Mania VS Xianlong W/ Jade Wallace

Match #5:
Aubrey J. Parker VS Alessandra Nayara

Co-Main Event:
”The Promise” Anthony Bailey VS Joe Martinez

Main Event:
All Roster Last Chance Over The Top Battle Royale
PURE Wrestling Heavyweight Championship Fatal Four-Way Match Qualifier

[Director Callahan]

“Paradise City” by Guns 'N' Roses sounds out for the intro to PURE TV. We're five episodes in now so we've got quite a few clips of mainly the safe material from previous shows. We wouldn't want any channel surfers to get alarmed now would we? This, along with shots of the Seattle skyline and still frame images of Callahan and Rebel roll for a few moments until it fades out into a shot of the arena. The sound of pyro and the crowd all but drown out the music as we get this show on the road. Some of the better signs of the week include “Mr. Tiddles Hall of Fame 2013”, “Dying Bread = Stale”, “Aubrey J. Parker is a ****” and “Joe Martinez Will Eat Your Kids”. Everyone is excited.

Stanton: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to PURE TV Episode 5 coming to you LIVE from the as always SOLD OUT Key Arena in Seattle, Washington, ONLY on AMC. I'm award winning sports broadcaster James Stanton and sitting to my left as always is the voice of experience, the bird of a feather, the irreplaceable “Bird Man” Chris Condor. Chris! How we doing this week?

Condor: I'm sober and I'm in pain. Where's the intern with my vicodin?

Stanton: We've got all the pain relief you need right here on PURE TV after what was certainly an interesting week last week.

Condor: Last week sure was incredible James.

Stanton: You could say that again Chris, because with everything that transpired last week. The landscape of PURE, seems to be ever growing.

Condor: You're right about James, but speaking of incredible. Let's take a look back at last week's Main Event.

The video screen pulls up the ending of last week's PURE episode.

---

Alessandra breaks free of her grasp and delivers a shattering Legsweep to Martinez leaving him lying supine by the turnbuckle. She points to the sky and the audience rise to their feet with a lions roar. This is it. Ready to fly, she looks down at the out and out Martinez before turning on her heels for the Corkscrew Moonsault. She bends over to jump but at the last second, APB leaps up onto the apron and pushes Alessandra off the top rope, sending her flying down to the hard concrete floor below for the second time. APB takes her position on the top rope and launches a DeathGate moonsault but the Martinez' rolls out of the way and the veteran lands flat on his face. On impact, APB bounces to his feet clutching his chest but he stumbles right into the grasp of Young Mannie who nails him The Fatal Attraction!

Condor: NO! DAMN IT! NO! MY BEAUTIFUL ALESSANDRA! I HATE YOU APB!

Stanton: DEATH GATE MOONSAULT BUT JOE MARTINEZ ROLLS OUT THE WAY! APB lands on his feet but OH! Fatal Attraction! Young Mannie could steal this one!

Or he could if Mark Mania wasn't on him instantly. No sooner is Mannie on his feet, he's getting pulled straight into the Mania Madness himself. The Pedigree connects and Mannie's just gone, another knockout from the devastating finisher of the veteran. Mark Mania stands up to get leverage to flip him over but is caught completely unaware by a knockout punch from Joe Martinez that sends him flying through the ropes and to the floor. Martinez then grabs the nearest body (Mannie) and slaps on The Weight Of The World! Mannie's barely conscious after the Mania Madness and slowly taps out.

Kelso: Here is your winner by submission... JOEEEE MARTINEEEEZ!

Condor: That's it folks! Joe Martinez, MY BOY, is the third man in the championship match at Crisis!

Stanton: What a hard fought victory! All five of these put on a great show but Joe Martinez has got the win with a submission from Young Mannie. The question is, will one of these four win next week's battle royal?

---

The video clip ends, as the camera shoots back over to the announce table.

Stanton: What a performance shown by Joe Martinez last week James.

Condor: Martinez is a boss and he's my boy but truthfully? I think Mannie would've had that match won, until Martinez blind-sided him.

Stanton: Blind-sided?

Preach Birdman, Preach!

The impromptu sound of the voice, sends out a mixed reaction through the Key Arena. The voice is apparent of course, but there's no face to go along with it. However; the mystery behind it all is no longer there, as Chris Condor reveals what's going on.

Stanton: What the hell? *Looking around the arena.*

Condor: Ladies and Gentleman, it's just been bought to my attention that we have 'The Main Attraction' "Young" Mannie Romero live tonight...

Stanton: Live? So wait that means that he's not here. Then if he's not here, then where is he?

Condor: He's broadcasting live via satellite.

Stanton: Oh! Is he broadcasting his Virginian home?

*Showing frustration* Condor: No! He's back in his loft.

Stanton: Loft? *Scratching his head* You got to be kidding me, he's not even that far from the arena Chris.

Condor: For some of us Stanton, ten feet might as well be a mile. Don't impose your own fortune in having good running legs on everyone else.

The camera then cuts back to the video screen, where 'The Main Attraction' is now seen lounging around in his bathroom. Mannie isn't sitting down, as he is oddly standing up. Now the odd-part wasn't that he was standing, but it was because he was standing on crutches.

Mannie: Thank you Chris.

Condor: You're welcome Mannie, so if it's okay with you. I would like to begin the interview?

Mannie: By all means, go right ahead.

Condor: Alright. So Mannie, it's been a week since the last show. So what's your excuse? I see you're joining me in Camp Iron Legs. Are you joining me and the kid from Breaking Bad in the list of crippled celebrities?

Mannie: Well Chris, if you can remember towards back last week; like right around near the top of the show. Then, you would remember I sustained a injury during that confrontation with AJP & Chris Madison. Now while the injury didn't occur doing a scuffle with those two, I still however pulled a muscle trying to do so.

Mannie's explanation doesn't fly over with James Stanton, who continues to press the severity of it.

Stanton: You're injured hunh? *Shifty eyes*

Mannie: Yeah that's right, I'm injured.

Stanton: Well if you're so injured Mannie, then what exactly did you injure?

'The Main Attraction' looks thrown-off by the question, but nevertheless he answers it.

*Holding his hand up in Stanton's face* Condor: Christ Stanton. What is wrong with you? This isn't the 1950's. Would you ask a wheelchair basketball player why he can't stand up like “normal people”? My God you are insensitive and an ass. Sorry Mannie. You don't have to answer this ig'nant.

Mannie: No Chris, it's alright...*Rolling his neck* Well if you must know James, according to my private physician. I injured my "Triceratops" nerve, which is located in my back.

James Stanton can't help but smile, as Chris Condor shakes his head in disbelief towards his college's disrespectful reaction.

Condor: You're disgusting. I oughta' beat your ass with these crutches. Animals like you are the reason they make Saw films.

*Snickering* Stanton: I'm sorry, but it's funny that you should say that Mannie.

*Looking confused* Mannie: Yeah, how so?

Stanton: Because Mannie, well if I recall back correctly. Then, weren't you favoring your leg last week; as suppose of your back?

*Coughing* Mannie: Ummm...

Stanton: Ummm?

Mannie: Look damn it, are you a doctor?

Stanton: N-

Condor: No, he is not Mannie. He is a “sports broadcaster” and a lousy, discriminatory one at that.

Mannie: Well alright then, because James if you knew anything about nerves. Then James, you would know that it jumbles up all of that stuff. So before you try to call me out, well how about you try to do some damn research first.

Mannie looks aggravated as Chris Condor chimes back in.

Condor: I'm so sorry about that Mannie.

Mannie: It's okay Chris, but as I was trying to say earlier before I was so rudely interrupted. I can't compete tonight.

The Key Arena finally makes their presence known again, as they boo 'The Main Attraction's announcement.

Mannie: I know, I know. So that's why, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew, no matter how much I wanted to go out there and win that battle royal. So that I could secure my spot at PURE's 1st pay per view Crises, however I can't wrestle. So I will have to for-go the title shot.

Condor: Well Mannie, I believe I could speak for everyone here right now; by saying nobody faults for thinking about your future. So with that being said, we wish you a speedy recovery.

Mannie: *Rubbing his palms at Birdman* Thank you Chris, *Staring back at Stanton* James!

“Sticks ‘N Stones” starts and the intro plays through and finally as the tempo picks up this Dude just saunter out onto the center of the stage cocky as all that, singing along with his own theme song milking every second of it swaggering from side to side on the stage, finally a Beautiful red head appears as if from nowhere behind him and places her hand on his head calming him and then she steps back as he drops to his knees pounding on the ramp and then coming back up CM PUNK style screaming

“INCOMING!!!!!!”

He rolls back onto his feet, the girl is standing behind him smiling at his behaviour, he is basically bouncing as he makes his way from the stage singing along with his own theme song and getting in the face of the crowd, the song speeds up again and Jordan runs at the ring jumping and sliding in feet first followed by a quick kip up into a standing corkscrew back flip landing back on his feet. The entrance ends with Caliban sitting on the top rope with the girl playing with his hair on the apron. Both are waiting watching the ramp or opponent intently, while St. Major Roger Kelso raises the microphone to his lips.

Kelso: The following bout is scheduled for OOOONNNNE FALLL, maggots! Introducing first, already in the ring, accompanied by a pretty little number, hailing from Coleraine, Northern Ireland, weighing in at one hundred and seventy-five pounds… JORRRDAANNN CALIBAAANNNN!

“Slip into Void” by Alter-Bridge plays and to no theatrics, Allen Bartsch makes his way through the curtains, power-walking toward the ring.

Kelso: And his opponent, hailing from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, weighing in at two hundred and forty-nine pounds, Allen “Portal” BAAARRRRRRTTTSSSCHHHH!

APB enters the ring and stares Caliban down, waiting, tensely for the bell to ring.

Jordan Caliban vs Allen “Portal” Bartsch

Condor: Why the hell does Bartsch look so serious all the time? What, exactly, crawled up his--

Stanton: He’s focused. He said this week that although he’s been in a slump, that ring is his home. He’s going to fight Caliban to the death if he’s got to, and you can bet he’ll do it in that Battle Royal tonight too.

With referee June Wilson officiating this match, the bell sounds and the two PURE wrestlers lock up! APB quickly overpowers the smaller Caliban and whips him against the ropes, catching him with a thrust kick to the stomach upon rebound! Caliban doubles over in pain and APB whips him off the ropes again, catching him with a Sidewalk Slam! Caliban rolls to the ropes, holding his back in pain. APB charges him for a Shoulder Block into the ropes, but Caliban gets both feet up, knocking the veteran back! Caliban charges APB for a Cross-Body, but he’s caught and drilled to the mat with a Powerslam!

Condor: Ha, intercepted! The kid’s a rook.

Stanton: And “Portal” goes for the cover, hooking the near leg!

1
.
.
.
.
T--Kickout!

Stanton: And Jordan Caliban is showing Allen Bartsch that it’s gonna take a lot more than that to put him away, especially on a night where the stakes are so high!

APB hoists Caliban up and drills him to the canvas with a Short-Arm Clothesline! He goes out to the apron and then, with a mighty roar, goes for a Springboard Diving Lariat, but Caliban ducks! Bartsch stumbles forward and Caliban shoots the ropes in front of him, coming back to hit a vicious and lightning-fast Tornado DDT! APB bounces off of the canvas and rises to his knees, holding his nose in pain. He staggers to his feet, and Caliban, out of nowhere, is able to hit an Exploder Suplex!

Condor: And now the kid’s showing some guts, but how many of those moves is he gonna be able to pull off? Bartsch did a fine job of making him his technical bitch a little earlier.

Stanton: You’re terribly classy.

Caliban is urged by the audience to go for the cover, but instead, hits the opposite side of the ring, motioning for APB to rise to his feet. Once he does, Jordan cries out and sprints across the ring, nailing a running Dropsault! The velocity of the strike sends Bartsch over the middle rope, to the apron, and down to the outside! He stands up, but the crowd roars as Caliban dives out of the ring, taking him down with a Cannonball Suicide Dive!

Stanton: Jordan Caliban might’ve just taken both himself and Allen Bartsch out!

Condor: How short-sighted. He didn’t even think. He just jumped.

The referee has started counting both men out and reaches a count of “5” but Caliban is up to his feet first. He rolls into the ring, only for a second, to break up the count, and rolls back out, measuring Bartsch as he pulls himself to his feet. Caliban nails a series of hard kicks to his ribs and sternum until APB rises, shakily to his feet. Caliban runs at him-- and APB nails a Back Body Drop that sends Caliban crashing back-first across the ramp!

Stanton: And Caliban goes spine-first right into that steel!

Caliban groggily rolls over onto his stomach, but doesn’t seem to know where he is. APB lifts him up with a handful of hair and tights and launches him into the barricade for good measure before sliding him into the ring and hooking both legs.

1
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
Shoulder up!

APB mounts Caliban and begins to hit hard forearms to his skull, but Jordan Caliban eventually covers up. He throws a hand up, catching APB with a palm strike to the nose. APB falls onto his rear, immediately throwing a hand up to his nose which is gushing blood! He glares at Caliban and matches him in time to his feet, dropping him with a blunt boot to the temple! Caliban crashes to the mat in a daze and APB goes out to the top rope. He leaps off with little fanfare and drives an elbow into the heart of Jordan Caliban! He makes the cover, hooking the far leg, and June Wilson.

1
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
THHRRRE-- Kickout!

Condor: Almost! Caliban just barely finds it in himself to kick out!

APB pulls Jordan Caliban up once more, taking deep breaths, trying to remain focused-- but suddenly, the crowd erupts. Bartsch looks around in confusion, and narrows his eyes as Aubrey J. Parker, holding the elusive Mr. Tiddles in her arms, makes her way down to the ring, grinning brightly at Caliban and Bartsch. Bartsch looks at her in complete confusion-- but he’s suddenly thrown down against the ropes throat-first, courtesy of a Drop Toehold! Caliban leaps over the top rope and nails a Leg Drop to the back of his head, landing on the apron! Caliban lies there for a moment, still regaining his composure as APB writhes in agony on the mat.

Condor: What in the hell is that wench doing out here?!

Stanton: She-- I-- what? I have no idea…

Parker watches Jordan Caliban as he climbs toward the top rope. She says something to him, but it’s barely audible above the screaming masses. Caliban looks at her in confusion but shakes his head and turns his attention back toward APB. He leaps from the top, going for a Double Foot Stomp, but APB rolls out of the way and Caliban falls to a knee. APB spins him around and hoists him up for the Alabama Slam!

Stanton: He’s about to-- oh-- look!

Caliban flips down behind APB and pins him in a Sunset Flip! June Wilson makes the count!

1
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
3!

Condor: What! What just happened?!

Stanton: Caliban wins one!

The crowd erupts as Jordan Caliban rises to his feet, grinning and running to the turnbuckles, throwing a fist up in celebration. The lady that had accompanied him earlier applauds as she joins him in the ring, and Aubrey J. Parker simply turns, grinning and strutting toward the back, Mr. Tiddles still in hand.

Kelso: Your winner… JORRDDAANNN CAALLLIBAAANNN!

APB sits in the opposite corner, looking with curiosity up the ramp, but shaking his head, muttering to himself as Caliban celebrates with the lively audience.

Stanton: I’m still baffled. AJP just came out here and I don’t know what her intention was. I don’t know if she necessarily meant to distract Allen Bartsch, but I think that’s what happened.

Condor: She said she was gonna get in the head of every potential opponent by any means necessary. Don’t act like this was innocent! She’s a conniving wench and Alessandra Nayara can’t put her down soon enough!

Stanton: Either way, congratulations to Jordan Caliban! Impressive win!

[Director Callahan]

We fade into the back and the crowd utters a mixed, but warmer reaction as Aubrey J. Parker appears on the frame, walking into Director Callahan’s office. Mr. Tiddles is still in her arms, until she lowers him into the chair. In the background, a woman unfamiliar to some, but recognizable to many-- the former TV personality and Aubrey J. Parker’s closest, most publicized friend, Cassandra McPherson-- appears in the doorway.

Cassandra: Funny thing about these VIP passes is… They let you walk aaaaanywhere in this arena. Crazy, right?

AJP: Followed me all the way from the curtain, huh?

Cassandra: Figured I’d ask what the hell you were thinking. That’s all.

Keeping her attention on Mr. Tiddles instead of Cassanda, Parker sighs.

AJP: Just keeping an eye on any and all potential contenders.

Cassandra: Contenders? Listen to you, dude. You’re not even the champion--

AJP: Yet.

She finally turns, giving Cassandra a long, cool gaze. She smiles faintly and turns, slowly strolling past her and toward the doorway.

AJP: Make sure he gets a treat. I’m gonna go change into my gear.

Cassandra: We’re not done talking about this. This is neither the time nor the place for you to just start making enemies.

AJP: Aha, a little too late for that, doll!

AJP winks and backs out into the corridor.

AJP: You know where to find me.

The camera follows her for a few moments as she strolls away from the room and down the hallway before we fade away.

Drexell Chancellor and Jackpot are already in the ring.

As 'I Love It' blares through the arena, Ash Scion emerges and makes her way down the ramp, as serious as a heart attack. She does not acknowledge the fans at all, her focus laser sharp on the ring itself.

“This is it (What?!)
Luchini pourin' from the sky
Lets get rich (What?!)
The cheeky vines
The sugar dimes
Can’t quit (What?!)
Now pop the cork and steam the vega
And get lit (What?! What?! What?!)”

[[ Casually making his way from the back, Hopkins comes out at a ryhtmic pace with the music as he begins to “feel the vibe” of the crowd. He does a slow spin-around as the fans greet him with cheers as he makes his way down the ramp. Slapping hands and blowing kisses to the females in attendance. ]]

Announcer: From the “Concrete Jungle” in Brooklyn, New York, he stands at 5 feet, 8 inches and weighs in at 208 pounds. He is one-half of “The Dying Breed”, JAIRRR .... HOPKINSSS!!!

“Introducin' phantom of the dark
Walk through my heaven with levitation
From efficient
and these leathers showboatin with Rugars
Flash vines Belafonte vigga
Lets get for what it's worth
As we confiscate your figgas”

[[ Entering the ring as he stylishly poses on the apron he hops upon, he takes in the sight as he looks back at the entrance way. That bright, trademark smile of his shows as he makes his way into the ring. His braids flapping around as he jubilantly accelerates from one side of the ring to the next, bouncing up on the middle rope to the crowd, throwing up that unforgettable “TDB” hand sign. He hops down and hops the near turnbuckle before nodding in approval at the scenery. He hops off and back on the canvas as he stretches, waiting for his opponent. ]]

MATCH #2
Ash Scion VS Drexell Chancellor VS Jackpot VS Jair Hopkins

The match begin like most clusterfucks do with everyone pairing up and wrestling rather than having some John Woo ridiculous free for all. Scion takes on Jackpot and Jair Hopkins takes on Drexell. Before long Scion is dragging Jackpot around the outside of the ring, smashing his face into every solid object she can find while Hopkins is taking center stage beating the hell out of Jackpot. The Bread N Butter gets a near-fall but he somehow manages to kick out. When Ash returns five minutes later to the ring, Drexell is a blood soaked, tear caked mess with wobbly teeth and a perfectly justifiable phobia of attractive, nihilistic redheads.

Stanton: This match is getting ugly real quick! How is this still going on?

Condor: I don't know but if Scion has her way it won't be going on much longer!

Ash slumps Drexell's battered body in the corner then turns her attention to Jair who's just laid out Jackpot with the second Bread N Butter of the evening. The two start brawling like pro's with Scion scratching, clawing and punching her way through Hopkins' quick movements and headlocks. Hopkins eventually manages to take the lead on the match when he nails the BK Drop which only gets a one cover from the feral Scion who kicks out something fierce. She battles back against Jair but with impossibly fast punches dropping him to a knee before bouncing off the ropes and looking to clip him with the Kill the Switch. Jair moves at the last possible second then nails a textbook Release German Suplex that drops Scion straight on her head.

Stanton: Great exchange here but wait! Now Scion's on the floor! What now?!

Condor: Jair Hopkins can take his pick of the two pulped, dead dummies on the floor on end it!

And end it he does. He drags Drexell Chancellor and Jackpot into a little heap in the corner before climbing the top rope and NAILING the OMFG onto both of them. The crowd mark out. I mark out. Everyone's a little bit happier in the moment except for Ash Scion when Hopkins makes the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Kelso: Here is your winner by pinfall... JAIRRRRR HOPKINS!

Stanton: And could it be that Jair Hopkins is back on track? This is the win he needs to rebuild momentum, especially with that battle royale later tonight.

Our camera joins Joe backstage as he walks down a hall sipping on a jumbo sized Sucra-soda. He wears a pair of beat old high top sneakers, blue jeans and a plain black shirt. He gingerly weaves his way through the various stacks of boxes and equipment when suddenly an opening door collides with the bulky bruiser. Joe’s soft drinks spills all over the floor, a custodian appears from behind the janitor’s closet door.



He peaks around and catches sight of the wrestler. He bows his head apologetically and offers an “I sorry.”



Joe frowns upon seeing his beverage spilled, his scowl rises up to meet the shaken employee, he raises his scowl to meet the employee then suddenly a grin crosses his face.



“No worries, buddy.” he says, clapping the man on the shoulder.



The janitor goes to clean up the spill but Joe grabs hold of the mop, “Here, let me.” he says and begins to clean up his own mess. He wrings the mop out on the trolley bucket and hands the mop back looking satisfied at his handiwork. He then peaks his head into the janitor closet.



“Hey man, those are cool coveralls, you got any spares back here?”



Joe wanders behind the door as our camera cuts back to -----


Commercial Break.

[Director Callahan]

"CAN YOU FEEL IT?"

Maverick's theme begins playing over the loudspeaker. Maverick, covered in a web-like cloak steps out from behind the curtain. He stands under a shower of red sparks and throws the cloak off of him.

Sgt. Major Kelso: From Edgewater, Maryland weighing in at 197 pounds, Maverick Jones!

Maverick runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. He stays on the ground speaking to himself something no one else can hear. He shakes his head and stands up turning his gaze to the referee, starring him down.

A choir of children invades the PA with their rendition of popular playground classic 'John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt', and the entire crowd joins in gleefully. Soon afterward, the wrestler of the same name bursts through the curtain, ranting loudly and gesturing to the crowd in anger. As he comes down the ramp, he can be clearly heard yelling 'STOP IT!' to the fans and 'TURN IT OFF!' to - presumably - the production crew backstage. This, of course, only makes the fans sing louder. He continues to sulk as he slides under the bottom rope into the ring. Once inside, he keeps shaking his fist at the crowd, as well as covering his ears and shutting his eyes, the way a small child would, to try and drown out the sound of their chanting.
[/div]

MATCH 3
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt VS Maverick Jones

[/u][/center]

Stanton: Ladies and gentlemen, things are about to get weird.

It's difficult to be able to tell how a match is going to pan out. Especially when the two people are involved are absolutely nuts. Needless to say, The J3S Experience against Maverick Jones did not disappoint on the insane level of violence scale. Whether it was one of Jones's wild clipping knees or J3S losing his mind at the fans audacity, it was all greatness. Maverick took the early stages of the bout by shoehorning J3S into a corner and pummelling him with repeated kicks and knees followed by a big fisherman suplex for a near-fall then proceeded to sit on his chest and punch him repeatedly in the face until he was cut open. J3S wasn't game to just sit there and take it though, slipping out and delivering a fierce fore-arm to the back of the head before laying out his opponent with the A-Boot Schmidt.

Stanton: That boot is a menace of a move! It might just be powerful enough to scramble Maverick Jones.

Condor: It's good but it's not that good. Don't get ahead of yourself.

The crowd start chanting John's name over and over again, the cacophony of rowdy fans infuriating him to no end. He flares up and starts swinging for the fences, flailing and thrashing his arms at nothing before remembering to channel his emotion into a positive function and that positive function is a stalling brainbuster to Maverick Jones which just barely falls short of a three. John throws Jones over the top rope and down to the arena floor and proceeds to continue the beating outside, slamming his face into the crowd barrier and yelling at fans before Jones lunges with a counter attack and smashes John's face into the steel steps and delivers a shell shocking muay thai kick to the gut that damn near ruptures his intestines. John swaggers backwards, only to get thrown back into the ring and followed in by Maverick Jones looking to finish the contest.

Condor: The force behind that kick was unreal. I think John might've voided himself there!

Stanton: That was such a stiff back kick that seemed to go right through The J3S Experience!

John stumbles to his feet, clutching his guts slowly only to get nailed by the speeding vehicle of cult justice that is the knee of Maverick Jones. It's Natural Selection at it's finest and it's with a heavy heart that the 1-2-3 is given to Maverico. You go Glen Maverico.

Stanton: Maverick Jones is the winner! I can not believe it!

Condor: I can. The question is, will he be able to put that knee to use when he's sending people over the top rope in tonight's battle royale?

Stanton: Y'all better believe it.

---

Our camera now shifts to Joe as he approaches an employee with large headphones and an orange shirt standing next to a large technical switch board of some sort. Joe wears a pair of grey coveralls now; he munches on a bag of chips.



“Hey cool!” he exclaims, approaching the board and looking it over.



The man at the board greets the burly brawler “Oh hi there.”



“Hey man, what’s all this fancy stuff here?” Joe manages to inquire between munching on handfuls of the salty snack.



“This is the lighting board.” states the man.



“Sweet, can I try?” he says, not waiting for a reply. Joe presses various buttons causing the multi-colored strobes of Aubrey J Parker’s entrance to shine throughout the arena. No music plays however, causing a bit of confusion from the crowd.



The technician tries to interject “Um well, that’s not really a good idea to…”



The burly bruiser seems oblivious as he continues to flip switches and move sliders. The lights dim and brighten repeatedly throughout the arena.



“Hey what’s this button do?” he asks as her presses it.



The lights in the arena black out and confused yelling breaks out from the crowd. Our view is completely dark back in the room Joe is in where the audible crunching of chips is heard.



“That’s the off button.” we hear the staff member say. The button is pressed again and the lights return to normal. We can now hear a voice high pitched muffled screaming coming from the headset the technician has slung around his neck.



“Uh-oh, you ain’t trouble are ya?” Joe asks.



The tech nods.



Joe grabs the headset microphone and bends it towards him as he leans in “Uhh, sorry it’s Joe… that was my fault. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Sorry again, uhh, over’n’out.”



Joe licks his fingers and sticks his hand out, “Hey buddy, sorry man it’s been cool. Keep it up, yer doin’ a good job man.”



The man shakes his hand and Joe immediately dips out through the nearest door. We see the tech wiping his hands on his pants with a disgusted look on his face.



“Ugh, he got crumbs all over the board.”



We then cut to commercial.

[Director Callahan]

Our camera fades into a familiar scene in the backstage area-- Jenny Perry standing alongside Aubrey J. Parker just outside of AJP’s locker-room. The audience explodes, with their reaction growing warmer to Parker, though she seems to simply be examining her nails as we fade in.

Jenny Perry: Good evenings, PURE Faithful. I’m standing here alongside the first competitor to qualify for Crisis’ Fatal-4-Way PURE Wrestling Heavyweight Championship match, Aubrey J. Parker.

AJP: Me!

Jenny: Now… Aubrey, I have to say that a little earlier tonight, all of us saw a side of you that, here in PURE, we’d only heard of. You stuck your nose in the middle of the match between Allen Bartsch and Jordan Caliban, and--

AJP: I didn’t stick anything anywhere. I just came to ringside. I made it better!

This receives a mixed reaction from the crowd, but Parker shrugs, smiling a bit.

Jenny: Can you give us any reason as to why you found that necessary, especially when you have to contend with the very game Alessandra Nayara later this evening?

Aubrey smirks and releases an exasperated sigh.

AJP: It’s just my way of scouting the competition, Jen. I’m just trying to see how ‘game’ all of these potential title contenders really are. I mean, if Caliban and APB can’t overcome a little curveball like an unexpected spectator, then how are they gonna win a Battle Royal? Huh? HOW are they gonna win a Fatal-4-Way for the PURE Championship? Hm?

Jenny: I--

AJP: Somebody’s gotta test these people around here. I’m gonna be that person until somebody around here tells me that I can’t. That was NOTHING out there tonight, Jenny. You know that. And… you mentioned Alessandra, right?

Jenny: Well, yeah. Earlier this weekend, she referred to you as “Miss Negative” and vowed to give you something to be “negative” about. Alessandra Nayara told the world that she would defeat you here in Seattle.

The crowd pops at the statement and Parker nods, the small smile on her face slowly fading.

AJP: Yeah. This is also the same girl that claimed that I got “lucky”, right? She said that I wasn’t… ha… that I wasn’t that impressive.

Wearing a bitter smile, Parker looks downward.

AJP: We’ll see about that in a few moments though, now won’t we? Make no mistake-- Alessandra’s a stepping stone toward a MMMMMUCH greater reward! She’s a speedbump tonight, and I’m gonna make her tap out. I’ll put her down by any means necessary. Aaaaand that’s all you get for free, bitch.

With a small pop from the crowd, Parker winks at Jenny Perry and takes a step back, disappearing into her locker room and closing the door in the interviewer’s face. We fade to black as Jenny turns an eye back toward the camera.

---

Mark Mania is already in the ring so there.

The arena goes black as the sound of static screams over the P.A. system. White snow visually takes over the video screens as the fans buzz in anticipation. "Immortal" by Eve to Adam replaces the static with the echoing lyrics with a light guitar in the background.

I am immortal

I'll never fade away

I'm a legacy that lives beyond,

Far beyond the grave...

I am immortal

I'll never rest in peace

And you're never gonna be

Never gonna be

Never be

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

The lights cut back on as the hard rock song begins to pick up. Chris Madison walks through the entrance area with his head down. He stops walking as he makes it to the foot of the entrance ramp. He shrugs his shoulders and then throws a few shadow jabs and uppercuts. He stops and tilts his head back, outstretching his arms horizontally with his palms up in the air. Madison lowers his head and gazes into the crowd with his cocky smile. He marches down to the ring banging his head to the music and arrogantly ignores all of the fans attempts to put a hand on the Madman. He hops onto the apron and climbs to the second rope in the nearest corner. He looks out and points to the fans while dragging his other thumb across his throat in a slashing motion as the chorus hits.

I am immortal

I'll never fade away

I'm a legacy that lives beyond,

Far beyond the grave...

I am immortal

I'll never rest in peace

And you're never gonna be

Never gonna be

Never be

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

Madison jumps over the top rope and lands in the ring. He pounds his chest and slaps himself in the face before letting out a roar.

Xianlong comes walking out to the Ramp and stops with his hands behind his back. He stops and looks at the crowd. He has a smile on his face and he begins to walk down to the ring. He rolls under the ropes and get up walks over to a corner and removes his top. He give it to an ring side attendant and starts to stretch before the match.

MATCH #4
“Mad Man” Chris Madison VS Mark Mania VS Xianlong

Stanton: Chris Madison already has his place at the dinner table when it's time to feast at the main event of Crisis. Mark Mania and Xianlong will be looking to get theirs in tonight's battle royale. Question is, which of these two men if either can get the valuable momentum they need going into the big battle royale later on this evening?

The match begins oddly enough with Mark Mania flying out of the gate. First he starts beating on Madison with some sick punches, then he hits a big ol' bulldog on Xianlong after pounding him into a pile in the corner, then he comes right back at Madison only to find himself absolutely jaw-jacked by a Superman Punch. Mark Mania then decides it might be best if he just sits in the corner and lets Xianlong and Madison duke it out and boy do they ever. Students of the arts, they're very differently conditioned but the training is all the same. They start having a crazy martial arts battle in the middle of the ring, transitioning from chops and knife hands to wrist locks and nerve holds. It eventually ends with Xianlong choking Madison is a seated sleeperhold.

Stanton: Xianlong showing that he's extremely capable of ground-fighting even with the likes of Chris Madison!

Condor: It's impressive to say the least. For my money, this is valuable practice for Madison before he's tasked with doing what God wants and snapping Aubrey Parker's neck like the water logged tooth pick she is.

Madison's eyes start to flicker as he feels himself slipping in and out of consciousness. The referee drops his hand for the one count, then the two but suddenly his hand surges in the air on the third and before long he's twisting out of the sleeperhold and right into a wrap around knee bar similar to but not the same as Aubrey's. Xianlong's injuries from wrestling Aubrey are still fresh and before long he's reminded of the agony. It looks like Xianlong might actually tap until Mark Mania breaks it up with a big leg drop. Mark Mania goes for the cover on Madison but Madison surges to life like a coiled cobra and sinks in the Peruvian Necktie from the defensive position.

Condor: UH OH!

Stanton: PERUVIAN NECKTIE! WILL MARK MANIA SUBMIT?!

Madison rolls it back to full extension and hooks in the body scissors. With nowhere to go, Mania taps out just as Xianlong manages to break the hold.

Stanton: HE TAPS! MADISON'S GOT IT!

Condor: YES! That's it! Now do it to that California rich twat.

Kelso: Here is your winner by submission... CHRIIIIS MADISON!

Madison gets his hand raised by Referee Sam Roberts as we cut to commercial.

Commercial break.

[Director Callahan]

Our camera now shows Joe entering the production-control room, as multiple staffers sit at the wall full of various screens.


“Hey folks, how’s it goin’ in here?”


None of the staff acknowledge Joe; they speak into microphones and give commands to various camera men.


“Hello?” he inquires.


No one seems to pay him mind.


Joe walks up to a young man in a turtle neck seated in his chair, “Ok cut to camera two…” he says into a mouthpiece.


“Hey pal, how’re you doin’? Keepin’ things running smooth like normal, eh?”


No reply. Joe steps up to the man and taps him on the shoulder. The PURE staffer turns around seeming bothered. The burly brawler offers a grin and double thumbs up. The upset staffer removes one of his headphones, “Umm, we’re kind of busy here.” he admonishes.


Joe steps back and nods “Oh sorry bud. Just wanted to say thanks for you guys doin’ so good’n’stuff.”


“Yeah, ok. Thanks...” The staffer rolls his eyes and sighs before turning back to the console.


“Whoa, hostile.” The bulky bruiser says as he backs away. Joe watches the screen for a bit, seeming mesmerized, “Man, fancy operation.” he says while sitting down on a chair and resting an elbow on the console behind him. Joe watches the screens for a little bit. He notices that some off the off screen crew seem bothered. Turtleneck springs up out of his chair “What happened to the main PA system sound?” he asks, nearly frantic. The panic seems to spread to all the crew. “Oh man, shouldn’ta had those chili dogs ‘til after my match…” he says then pounds his chest. A hearty belch then follows, “Phew, man that feels a lot better. Guess I will be ready fer my match with this Bailey guy.”


A walkie talkie crackles to life, “Who is the idiot burping into the PA system on live TV?!”


Joe turns his head to the console and realizes his where his elbow is resting. He snaps his arm away, his face flush with embarrassment. A gaggle of pairs of eyes stare daggers into him.


“GET OUT OF HERE!”


The burly brawler beats a hasty retreat as he backs out of the room and dashes down the hallway out towards the gorilla position.

---

Alessandra's music hits and she runs out onto the stage. She glances at all of the fans in attendance and then runs down the ramp and slides in the ring. When she gets to get feet she gets up onto a turnbuckle and looks out at the crowd raising her arms and cheers with the fans.

The haunting instruments and vocals of Tina Molia penetrate the arena through its sound system as "Nothing Has Been Broken" hits the PA and the crowd erupts into a thunderous reaction. The song rips through the PA system, followed by neon strobes swaying through the crowd. Their reaction only grows louder as Aubrey J. Parker steps out onto the ramp. She surveys the eruptive legions of fans with a thoughtful expression upon her face, placing her hands on her hips. With a smirk, she begins an energetic strut down the ramp toward the ring.

Reaching ringside, she casts a look around the arena and ascends the steel steps, climbing up the turnbuckles to sit at the top, glancing around at the booing audience with a smirk. She quietly sits on the top of the turnbuckles for a few moments before hopping down into the ring. She moves to the ropes once more, looking out into the audience with glimmering eyes, mouthing something at the masses that continue to either rally behind her or boo and heckle her. She rolls her eyes at the crowd and leans in the corner, waiting for action as her music fades.

MATCH #5
Alessandra Nayara VS Aubrey J. Parker

Condor: My girl is going to rip the throat out of that awful looking tramp Aubrey Parker.

Stanton: You told us last week it was jealousy. That can't seriously be it can it? I mean sure she's successful but so are a lot of people. Joe Martinez is successful and you don't hate him.

Condor: Aubrey Parker is reckless and selfish and dumb. That is all that needs to be said.

The bout begins on the ring of the bell and instantly the two first ladies of PURE Wrestling clash in a collar and elbow tie-up. Alessandra proceeds to take the early lead with an amazing display of her Lucha Libre skills as she runs the ropes, hits a number of arm drags followed by a big dropkick that gets her a 1-count. Alessandra then takes to the apron for a springboard seated senton but Aubrey ducks in the nick of time. Alessandra lands shakily on her feet but with Aubrey behind her, the Japanese Kneebar is never too far away. With a roll-up, Aubrey converts into the S2S and immediately the pressure is on. Alessandra's approach when in deep water with the shark isn't to kick or to thrash but to tremor, slowly but surely rocking her body back and forth until the grip sufficiently loosens.

Stanton: She's a master escapist is Alessandra. Even though she's not a submissions kind of girl, she can keep a cool head in the most perilous of situations and break herself out of even the tightest of straight jackets.

Condor: Now all Aly needs to do is kill her and everyone she holds dear and we can go home happier, safer people.

Alessandra scrambles to her feet before Aubrey can go for another attempt at the knee bar but Aubrey is right on her. Alessandra decides to escape through the ropes to the apron. As she climbs through Aubrey tries to grab her leg but gets a boot to the face for her trouble. Alessandra springboards off the top rope and nails a Springboard DDT, smashing Aubrey's face into the mat with a nasty thump. Alessandra then goes for the cover but unfortunately for her it's only a 2-count. It seems like it's all signals Alessandra until a spot where Aubrey chases Aly into the corner only to get caught for the headscissors but when Alessandra goes to take Aubrey down, Aubrey grabs both her legs and yanks her off the turnbuckle making her smash her face against the ground.

Stanton: Oh Lord hath mercy!

Condor: That is brutal! This could be the turning point she needs!

Aubrey goes for the second Japanese Kneebar in the match, dragging Alessandra to the middle of the ring before hooking it on with authority. Alessandra's too dazed and softened up from the impact to resist and before long she too succumbs to the S2S.

Kelso: Here is your winner VIA submission... Aubrey J. Parkerrrr!

Stanton: That is it! Aubrey has done it again! Only one loss in five episodes of PURE TV! Aubrey J. Parker is looking VERY good going into the main event of Crisis.

Condor: Where's the French intern with my alcohol? It's sorrow drowning time.

Aubrey raises her arms triumphantly as “Nothing Has Been Broken” by Bassnectar hits the speakers.

Commercial Break

[Director Callahan]

The crowd explodes into cheers as “Now or Never” by Kendrick Lamar feat. Mary J. Blige begins to blare and fog starts to roll down the entrance way. The arena lights turn blue and the fog creates a haze effect. Anthony "The Promise" Bailey steps out from behind the curtain slowly. He stops for a moment, flashes his signature smile, and looks around the arena. Bailey's eyes widen as he strides to the ring greeting multiple fans. He climbs up the ring steps, steps through the ropes and into the ring.

The lights turn a deep crimson as the crushing riff starts up and Joe Martinez takes a step out from the gorilla position. For a few moments he stands at the top of the ramp, seeming to scan the crowd and ring. He then slowly works his way down towards the ring, stretching his neck, rubbing his wrists, and loosening up his shoulders. As he continues walking he points to fans of his and replies to their outbursts with assurances he'll give his opponents hell. He walks up the stairs giving a raised fist salute and dips through the second and third rope.

Joe Martinez vs. Anthony Bailey

The match starts quickly after the bell, as Bailey turns around to be greeted with a flurry of hard punches from Joe Martinez that backs him into the corner! Martinez is just smothering Bailey with hard shots, mixing up some stiff elbows with his punches, catching Bailey on the chin to where he's already reeling less than 20 seconds into the match! He pulls the dazed Bailey out of the corner, and delivers a piledriver, he hooks the leg…

1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
Bailey kicks out!

Condor: Martinez almost had Bailey there early!

Stanton: Martinez is just showing aggression, Bailey is thrown off guard. He will recover from this. Anthony Bailey is resilient!

Martinez presses his advantage, giving Bailey a few hard punches to the face before wrapping his arms around the forearm of Bailey and trying to turn it in to an armbar submission!!

Stanton: Martinez is unorthodox! We see something new from him every week!

Condor: I wish we’d see a bath.

Stanton: You want to see him bathe?

Condor: Shut up.

Bailey is blocking the hold and Martinez releases and uses the ropes to get to his feet. With the grace of a veteran competitor, Bailey pulls Martinez down with a School Boy,

1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
Kick out from Martinez!

The School Boy only served to amp up the already volatile Martinez, who's quick to his feet, and even quicker to nail a lariat and begin stomping Anthony Bailey!

Stanton; Man alive! Joe Martinez is just beating the snot out of Anthony Bailey in the early goings of this match! Bailey hasn't gotten any offense rolling at all!

Condor: Maybe Martinez wants it more than Bailey…

Stanton: That is surely not it. Anthony Bailey has heart! This isn’t over by a long shot!

After a few stomps, Martinez pulls Anthony’s leg up and is going for a Single leg Bostom crab...However, Bailey shows that he's got some fight left in him, kicking up at Martinez and causing him to fall backwards to the mat on his ample rear end! Both men are to their feet, and the crowd comes alive as Bailey hits Joe with a Savate kick to the throat and then takes Martinez down with a flying Clothesline! As Martinez is back up to his feet, he receives a front kick from Bailey, which hunches him over, allowing Bailey to hoist him up for a Face-First Reverse Powerbomb! As Martinez is face down on the mat, Bailey gets a hold of his legs, and looks to apply an STF, but Martinez’s girth won’t allow that...at least not while he still has a fight in him. Bailey lets go of Martinez's legs and takes a few steps back, allowing Martinez to pull himself up to his feet. The fans are eating this up with a battling ”Let's go Bailey!” “Let’s Go Joe!” cheer.

Condor: Joe is a big boy.

Stanton: I don’t blame Bailey for trying though.

Anthony gives Joe time to get to his feet. They nod in respect to each other. They lock up in the middle of the ring! Bailey gets the advantage, pulling him down into a Side Headlock! Martinez shoves Bailey off into the ropes, but Bailey ducks the attempted clothesline, and jumps up to the middle rope, bouncing off and connecting with a Springboard Back Kick that connects with the chest of Joe Martinez again knocking him down! Bailey is quick to climb to the top rope, Martinez stumbles back to his feet, Bailey leaps off to catch him with a Diving DDT, spiking Martinez's head into the mat! The fans roar with approval as Bailey hooks both legs,

1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
Martinez gets the shoulder up! Bailey hooks both legs again,

1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
Another kick out from Martinez! Bailey gets to his feet, motioning for Martinez to get up, and the fans are on their feet! He motions for the Guaranteed Success, and as the groggy Martinez gets up, Anthony scoops him up! GUARANTEED SUCCESS!!!!!!!! The fans are in a frenzy as Bailey motions for the Martinez to get up! Martinez uses the ropes to get up and stumbles forward...Bailey charges at him going for Broken Promises, Joe avoids it...DOWN ON YOUR LUCK!!!!!!!!! Joe now with the WEIGHT OF THE WORLD! BAILEY STRUGGLES BUT HE'S GOING NOWHERE! IT'S OVER! BAILEY TAPS!

Kelso: Here is your winner by submission... JOE MARTINEEEEZ!

Stanton: I can't believe it! Anthony Bailey has been made to submit! The undefeated streak of Joe Martinez stretches to 4-0!

Condor: THAT'S MY BOY.

Commercial Break.

[Director Callahan]

MAIN EVENT
Last Chance All Roster Over The Top Rope Battle Qualifier For The Final Place In The PURE Wrestling Heavyweight Championship Fatal Four-Way Match

PARTICIPANTS
1. Allen "Portal Bartsch"
2. Alessandra Nayara
3. Anthony Bailey
4. Ash Scion
5. Drexel Chancellor
6. Jackpot
7. Jade Wallace
8. Jair Hopkins
9. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
10. Jordan Caliban
11. Mark Mania
12. Maverick Jones
13. Xianlong

I'm too lazy to paste all of your lame entrances so for ease of caffeine withdrawal headache having Danny, you guys are all in the ring already waiting to go.

Stanton: Here it is! The moment we've been waiting for. The Lucky Number 13 Battle Royale! Only one of these lucky people will make it to the PURE Wrestling Heavyweight Championship match at Crisis. Who will join Aubrey J. Parker, Chris Madison and Joe Martinez at the inaugural championship match live on pay-per-view in two weeks time?

Condor: Twenty of my finest dead presidents are saying Alessandra Nayara.

Stanton: Does your entire life revolve around painkillers, alcohol and gambling with Keith the Cameraman?

Condor: Yes. Maybe you able bodied people can go tandem cycling in Denny Park, laughing at the weather with your beautiful girlfriends but I can't. Instead I live a life of excess, burning the candles at both ends and taking my my mind off the agony by living life as a never ending adrenaline rush and ensuring that I will wind up dead before I'm 30.

Stanton: What? I thought you were like thirty two.

Condor: I'm twenty eight you piece of garbage.

After much delay and commentary bickering. The battle gets under way. For reasons known to none, everyone immediately turns shift and targets Drexel Chancellor. Xianlong and Jordan Caliban are the two key instigators, taking it in turns two pummel him with martial arts strikes and roughneck brawling shots respectively until he's backed up against the ropes. Caliban gets down on all fours in front of him while Xianlong runs the ropes, springboarding off Caliban's back and launching a flying martial arts kick right into the jaw of Drexell Chancellor. Knocked off his feet both physically and mentally, he screams in terror as he tumbles over the top rope and crashes to a heap on the floor.

Stanton: Drexell Chancellor, we hardly knew ye!

Condor: Cya later.

ELIMINATED: Drexell Chancellor (by Jordan Caliban & Xianlong)
12 Athletes Remaining

Standing in the corner, Jackpot laughs at the miserable fate of his fellow debuter. This doesn't sit well with everyone else however, all eyes turning to face the fellow no-shower. This time it's Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins of The Dying Breed taking up the charge confronting the cocky stalwart. They grab an arm each and drag him kicking and flailing out of the corner but his struggles are wasted. Brought to the sacrificial altar of Alessandra Nayara, they whip Jackpot into her as she leaps up and catches him with the Skyfall. Jackpot's head ricochets off the canvas, his thoughts and legs turning to mush as he staggers punch drunk into a dropkick from Jair Hopkins. He tumbles to the ropes, trying to grab a hold of the top rope for balance but Bailey yanks it down last second, laughing as Jackpot falls over and down to the floor.

Stanton: Looks like Bailey just hit The Jackpot!

Condor: You repulse me. You know that?

ELIMINATED: Jackpot (by Jair Hopkins, Anthony Bailey and Alessandra Nayara)
11 Athletes Remaining

Down to less than a dozen now, the mob rule grip seems to vanish as everyone breaks up into little brawls. APB and Scion reopen old wounds from Show 1 with a bloody exchange of fists while Alessandra Nayara tangles up with Jade Wallace in the corner. Mark Mania is getting beaten silly by The J3S Experience and Jordan Caliban and Xianlong are teaming up to take on The Dying Breed. Maverick Jones simply basks in doing nothing at all, mumbling something to himself about The Grand Design without getting involved in anyone else's affair. Seated in the corner, Mark Mania has been beaten black and blue and red by an unhinged John Jacob, incensed by the fans continuation to chant his name. He drags Mark to his feet, then with an unmatched venom roars viscerally as he kicks Mania's chin off with A-Boot Schmidt, sending Mark flying over the top rope and down to the floor.

Stnaton: Oh my Lord! John Jacob is in a frenzy! He's so angry!

Condor: Can you blame him at all? He's been burdened with fighting Mark Mania, that Tony Stark wannabe motherfu-

ELIMINATED: Mark Mania (by John Jacon Jingleheimer Schmidt)
10 Athletes Remaining

Knife edge chops in a sequence, Alessandra Nayara has Jade Wallace exactly where she wants her against the ropes. Alessandra lunges for an over the top rope clothesline but Jade ducks and twists around behind her. Jade fires off a rapid series of martial arts strikes to the gut, turning Alessendra's face green and backing her up against the ropes. She then tries to hoist her over the top ropes by grabbing her legs but Alessandra kicks her legs up and warps them around Jade's head. Using the ropes for leverage, she pulls Jade over the top rope for a hurricanrana and sends her crashing to the mat eliminated. Everything else is as was.

Condor: That's my girl! Nayara is dazzling. She's really pulling it out here.

Stanton: Two eliminations already!

ELIMINATED: Jade Wallace (by Alessandra Nayara)
9 Athletes Remaining

Interestingly, Ash Scion has APB's leg wrapped around the middle rope rather than the top. She pulls the leg inwards, causing APB to roar in pain as his knee gets tweaked out by the tenacious Fear Factory monster. Alessandra Nayara joins Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins in the battle for supremacy against Xianlong and Jordan Caliban to quickly turn the tides of battle against them. With Xianlong dealing with Bailey and Caliban dealing with Nayara and Hopkins, they're divided and quickly conquered. Meanwhile, Ash Scion is finding herself struggling as APB tries to wrestle her over the top turnbuckle. John Jacob and Maverick Jones sprint up behind APB and grab both legs, throwing him over the top rope and dumping him to the floor. Ash clings into the top rope for dear life.

Condor: Peace out APB! I'm sure Scion's gonna' be delighted with that.

Stanton: If APB hadn't been trying to eliminate her, he might've seen that coming.

ELIMINATED: Allen “Portal” Bartsch (by John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt & Maverick Jones)
8 Athletes Remaining

Their temporary alliance over, John Jacob and Maverick furiously reignite the embers of their earlier battle engaging in some brutal cut and thrust brawling until Maverick hooks in a clinch and starts kneeing him repeatedly in the face. Ash rejoins the fray by interestingly enough by saving Caliban from elimination with a fore-arm to the back of Jair Hopkins head. The distraction stops them dead in their tracks and they turn to face her, a four man brawl erupting as Jair beats on Scion and Alessandra continues with her assault on Caliban. Bailey tries to force Xianlong into a corner but the flighty martial artist is too quick to corner, ducking around and making Bailey waste energy chasing him. Maverick Jones nails John Jacob with the running knee, sending him packing as he hits the floor below.

Stanton: Ohohoho! Wow. Maverick Jones with that deadly knee that's put out so many people already. John Jacob doesn't stand a chance!

Condor: Even if he hadn't have fallen out of the ring, the knock out blow would've meant it he would've been easy pickings anyway.

ELIMINATED: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt (by Maverick Jones)
7 Athletes Remaining

Now we're down to seven and things are getting interesting. The only person not really doing anything is Maverick Jones, sensible as always biding his time in the corner. Ash Scion has a guillotine choke on Jair Hopkins to stop him from throwing her out of the match while Anthony Bailey nails a series of suplexes on Xianlong having finally managed to pin him down. Alessandra Nayara fires a head kick at Jordan Caliban, cracking him in the skull violently. He staggers back to lean against the ropes but find that there are none there, pulled down by none other than... Aubrey J. Parker?! Jordan Calaiban spills from the ring to the floor, eliminated. She turns to Alessandra with a sickly grin on her pale face before disappearing over the crowd barrier.

Condor: OH GOD DAMN IT. Why are you here?!

Stanton: She's just helped eliminate Jordan Caliban! What is her problem?

ELIMINATED: Jordan Caliban (by Alessandra Nayara & Aubrey J. Parker)
6 Athletes Remaining; Alessandra Nayara, Anthony Bailey, Ash Scion, Jair Hopkins, Maverick Jones & Xianlong

The ring is starting to empty fast now with only six competitors left to duke it out and with Caliban eliminated, the team effort of The Dying Breed and Alessandra Nayara is finding fewer and fewer opposition to crush. Especially with Maverick Jones being completely unwilling to help too. Alessandra decides rather than to team up with Bailey or Jair to take out their challenges, she goes after the bizarre Maverick Jones. Jair Hopkins is still in the guillotine, eating stiff elbows to the neck courtesy of Scion and Xianlong is nailing Bailey with a Liu Kang style bicycle kick to the chest. After much struggle, Bailey carries Scion and slams her hard against the mat to break the choke. He pulls her to her feet, hits Bread N Butter then tosses her out on her ass to the mat below.

Condor: Oh no! Not Ash Scion! Nooooo!

Stanton: This team work game is really killing off the match. One by one, the opposition falls to The Dying Breed and their comrade Alessandra Nayara.

ELIMINATED: Ash Scion (by Jair Hopkins)
5 Athletes Remain; Alessandra Nayara, Anthony Bailey, Jair Hopkins, Maverick Jones, Xianlong

Also, moments after that, Bailey finally manages to throw Xianlong over the top rope too!

Stanton: And now Xianlong is gone too!

Condor: Now it's just Maverick Jones against the world.

ELIMINATED: Xianlong (by Anthony Bailey)
4 Athletes Remain: Alessandra Nayara, Anthony Bailey, Jair Hopkins, Maverick Jones

Maverick Jones is too busy kneeing Alessandra in the face and giving her a cut lip to realise what's about to happen to him. Bailey and Jair close in on Maverick, grabbing both his arms and pulling him off Alessandra before hitting him with a sweep kick (Bailey) dropkick (Jair) combination. Maverick's neck shoots up with pain as he slams it against the hard mat. Alessandra is bleeding out the face but she's not losing focus.

Maverick: UNHAND ME YOU ANIMALS! I SAID UNHAND ME!

Just like Jackpot before them, they double whip Maverick into an awaiting Alessandra who finally silences the voices in Jones' head with a devastating Skyfall. It's as good as over anyway but Jair hitting the Bread N Butter adds little to Maverick's chances. Bailey completes the series by throwing him over the top rope and to the floor.

Stanton: SKYFALL! BREAD N BUTTER! And now Bailey sends Jones outta' here! This one's a wrap for The Grand Design folks!

Condor: So close. Mav's been impressive but the team initiative just wasn't going to be survived even by him. Better luck next time.

ELIMINATED: Maverick Jones (by Anthony Bailey, Jair Hopkins & Alessandra Nayara)
3 Athletes Remain: Alessandra Nayara, Anthony Bailey, Jair Hopkins

Condor: Now things actually get interesting. Who do you eliminate first? New-found ally and hot girl or your best buddy for life? It really is bro's or hoes for these two.

Stanton: You're not right.

All three eye each other with puzzled expressions. Only one can win this match and get the last spot but there's an important team dynamic. Bailey and Jair share knowing glances. Alessandra sighs and puts her hands up, resigning herself to the brutal assault and making sure The Dying Breed know she won't go without a fight. They bull-rush her, charging her up against the apron without hitting her to try and use their strength to force her out. As two men, it's easy for them both to grab her legs and start hoisting her up but her grip on the rope is tenacious.

Stanton: Two on one now. It wasn't an easy decision but Alessandra appreciates it.

Condor: The Dying Breed are now on my list. If they cost me twenty dollars now I'm going to cry.

She kicks and thrashes her legs as best she can because she can't really hit back while holding onto the ropes until a genius idea occurs. She lunges with a wild headbutt that catches Anthony Bailey flush in the nose, making her stumble back and let go of the leg, flips her body over and wraps another leg around Jair's waist before pulling him over and sending him crashing to the floor.

Condor: OH COME ON COME ON! YES! BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF WORKING LEG.

Stanton: Wow! I can't believe it! She's evened the odds! Jair is out of there!

ELIMINATED: Jair Hopkins (by Alessandra Nayara)
2 Athletes Remain: Anthony Bailey, Alessandra Nayara

She skins the cat and throws herself back into the ring but Bailey is right on her with a rear waist lock, pulling her to the center of the ring for a big German suplex. Nayara's head cracks against the canvas, while Bailey is a sweating, heaving mess just ready to end this one already. He grabs her by the head and pulls her to her feet but out of nowhere Alessandra rises like the phoenix with a beautiful European Uppercut that knocks blood and spit skywards out of The Promise's mouth. He stumbles back into the ropes, in prime position for an elimination. Alessandra makes the run up and goes for the clothesline but Bailey just dodges in the nick of time. He shoulders Alessandra in the waist and drives her into the turnbuckle, a low wheeze escaping her lungs as he rams in as far as he can. He grabs Alessandra's legs and tries for another lift but the flurry of strikes make it impossible as she kicks and bucks and knees him in the chest violently.

Stanton: This is real competitive! Two of our biggest stars, going tooth and nail for the last chance at the chance to make history! Only one of these two can go to the main event of Crisis but who will it be?!

Condor: LET'S GO ALY! LET'S GO!

Alessandra delivers a stiff kick to Bailey's stomach then shoves him out the turnbuckle, catching him on the stagger back with a ruthless head kick that rattles The Promise's skull. He collapses in a heap on the floor in prime position for the biggest move in her arsenal, Corkscrew Moonsault! The crowd go wild as Alessandra merely adjusts herself up, climbing up in that dangerous spot high above the suppine Bailey below. Alessandra leaps off the top rope, pulling off the beautiful mid-air spin ONLY to crash rib first into the mat as Bailey rolls out the way!

Condor: NO! GOD DAMN IT!

Stanton: Bailey moved!

Her eyes popping out of her head at the winding pain, she bounces to her feet and wobbles backwards into Anthony who wastes no time throwing her head first over the top rope and down to the floor. It's all over. We have our winner.

ELIMINATED: Alessandra Nayara

Kelso: Here is your winner of the Last Chance All Roster Battle Royale... “THE PROMISE” ANTHONYYYYYY BAILEEYYYYYYYYY!

The crowd go nuts. Jair Hopkins returns to the ring from the back, joining his Dying Breed Partner in the ring to celebrate.

Stanton: And there it is! It is all over! Anthony Bailey is going to the main event of Crisis!

Condor: I cannot believe this. This is just plain unfair. I demand a rematch.

Stanton: Well that's all we have time for ladies and gentlemen but now at the end of PURE TV #5, we know the four competitors are going to be headlining Crisis in our first ever PURE Wrestling Heavyweight Championship match. It'll be Aubrey J. Parker, “Mad Man” Chris Madison, Joe Martinez and now “The Promise” Anthony Bailey in a match that's sure to be a classic. We have one show left before our pay-per-view where at the end of the show Director Callahan will be announcing the stipulation for the bout. I wonder what it'll be Chris!

Condor: Hopefully it'll be “Whoever Gets Pinned Eats A Bullet”, in which I'll be resting all of my entire life savings and hopes and dreams on Aubrey J. Parker losing.

Stanton: You really hate her that much even though Bailey just eliminated your favourite girl?

Condor: Absolutely.

Stanton: Well this has been another edition of PURE TV in the books. Thank you for joining us. This is James Stanton and Chris Condor signing off!

End Show.[/font]